Warehouse 13: Blue Curtain

typeytypeytypey:

Title: Blue Curtain
Pairing: Bering & Wells
Rating: Explicit
Summary: A small bed isn’t always a bad thing.
Note: Because sometimes I’m told to write porn.

Story here on A03

Anonymous inquired:

You know what I find conducive to writing good explicit erotica? Not having actual sex. There's nothing like a dry spell to help you take your frustrations out on paper...or maybe it's just me. Perhaps the problem is you're having too much sex. ;p

I can’t decide if this is the best anon I’ve ever gotten, or the worst. :)  It is, of course, referencing this ask/answer from last night during my honesty hour game, that I have trouble writing explicit erotica because it comes out sounding like an instruction manual.

My answer to this ask?  a) PPPTH.  I’m blowing giant raspberries at your face.  b) NOPE, because I recently went through a dry spell, and the writing didn’t get any better.  (Is 3 weeks a dry spell? I was getting cranky, and the spousal unit was worse than I was.)  and c) PPPTH.  :)

(But seriously, I’m trying to write a sex scene in a much bigger fic, and while it’s still fairly wooden, I’m starting to get the hang of it… a little?  We’ll see when I finally finish the fic and post it.  The problem is that I’m a very visual person and so want to write it like stage directions — I’m not great at finding the rhythm of the movements in my writing so much as explaining what happened, which is not a lot of fun for anyone.  But I’m working on it.)

2 days ago   REBLOG      3 notes
Anonymous inquired:

you have a spousal unit? what is their name?

Oh, silly anon, didn’t you read the rules? I’d answer anything “with the exception of like my full name and address and whatnot”, and I’m putting the spousal unit’s name in the whatnot category.  Because while I clearly don’t have problems posting my own picture, I call the spousal unit as such for reasons. Like anonymity, and privacy, and because this is MY tumblr, and not, as typey likes to refer to the SU, the hummus’s.  I will never post a picture of anyone else or give out personal details without their permission.

But you want a hint?

3 days ago   REBLOG      6 notes
Anonymous inquired:

you are awesome and amazing. How do you feel about that?

Well, anon, thanks for this message! I’m feeling pretty good about it!  I think I would be even MORE awesome if this damn cold would go away, but otherwise?  Pretty good.

And I think YOU’RE awesome anon. :)

3 days ago   REBLOG      1 notes
Anonymous inquired:

are you the primary pilot or the secondary pilot in your jaeger?

OH shit typey, what did we decide? I was on the left, so that made me the pilot? I don’t remember, but the jaeger that typey named “Destroyer Zed” is totally awesome.  It can parasail.  For realz.

3 days ago   REBLOG      6 notes
Anonymous inquired:

well ofc someone's going to ask about your sex life now. so it can be me. weirdest place you've had sex?

I’m not sure if I consider any of them WEIRD, just adventurous.  I’ve had pretty public outdoor sex in the folk festival campground, and had the spousal unit’s hand up my dress during speeches at a friend’s wedding (thank goodness for long tablecloths).  Um, the side of a mountain in Peru? But we were in a tent.  The desk in our students’ union offices? But it was night.  None of those are really weird.  At least not to me.  Maybe someone else would say differently. 

OH! How about in a teepee, in November, when it was really cold and there’s snow outside the teepee but there was no fire inside, and we were the only two girls and surrounded by like, 15 drunk and passed out guys?  OH and I totally forgot about the hotel stairwell with this guy that I met at a school conference, and then we finally ended up in the university owned van.  That one was fun.

Um, tmi?  I blame the cough syrup.

3 days ago   REBLOG      5 notes
Anonymous inquired:

how much het-based media (including fic) do you seek out for shipping at this point? any shows you would have watched a couple years ago because of a juicy potential het ship that you ignore/just wouldn't be on your radar now? still read a lot of fic for previous het ships?

I read a LOT of fanfic, and I still love reading some of my old favourites from het ships, but I don’t really seek out many new ones.  Like, I still love Caskett, and will still return to Nate/Sophie, Hardison/Parker/(and sometimes Eliot), Josh/Donna, Kate/Jack, Juliet/Sawyer, and a few others… but NEW ships? Pretty much all my new ships are femslash.  I’m not discounting new het ships, it’s just not really what I’m interested in right now.  They’re so… boring.  And yet, I identify as somewhere in the middle, and so I’m sure I’ll swing back eventually.  Maybe.

3 days ago   REBLOG      1 notes

OMG anon, you’re the best.

The only one I’ll fully answer is Carmen Sandiego, because mizzy2k told me of her headcanon once where Sophie Devereaux had an alias of Carmen Sandiego, and I have never accepted a headcanon SO FAST.

HEADCANON ACCEPTED.

As for the rest… it’s clearly just because I’m awesome, clearly, and then far too many, because I always end up using my teeth.  :)

eta: It’s been pointed out to me that two of them are song lyrics, which after being told, I promptly realized.  The answer is still that I’m awesome.  Clearly.

3 days ago   REBLOG      3 notes
Anonymous inquired:

would you rather write very explicit erotica or read a story rated E that ends up not being actually explicit?

Oh man, reading a story that’s rated E that’s not drives me CRAZY. Or like you’re reading something M, and finally you get to it — the characters SWEAR. Or there’s like, a mention of violence or something.  Seriously.  That is not what those ratings are for. :)

I’d really like to be able to write GOOD explicit erotica, because any attempts thus far have ended up sounding like an instruction manual. HOWEVER, I’m working on it, and while it’s not REALLY explicit, I hope to get there one day. YEP.

3 days ago   REBLOG      2 notes

baaaaaaaaaaaskerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy *jumps up and down to ‘I don’t wanna go…..I don’t wanna go…..I don’t wanna gooooooo…to bed…with a man’*

I mostly just want to point out that you forgot that last part of the lyrics, there, which is “from town”… though I will accept your lyrics too. :)

3 days ago   REBLOG      0 notes
thealaktarr inquired:

has a moose ever wandered into your yard? (you are the best for humoring my dumb questions ilu ella)

I really love your dumb questions there, alak. :)

But no, Moose are shy animals and are not often near my city.  They’re mostly quite a bit further north than where I am right now. HOWEVER, when I lived a bit more on the outskirts of the city, I often had deer wander into my yard.  That’s fun.

3 days ago   REBLOG      3 notes
Anonymous inquired:

what would be a tag for you on someone's blog that would make you happiest (like seeing "Ella's perfect" as someone's tag just for you)?

Well, I HAVE already managed to brainwash most of you to tag “ellaphant” whenever they reblog elephants, and same with people tagging “lunatic roadshow” whenever there are minions. Both of those things make me VERY happy.

But really, the best is when I see either flailing or longer intelligent tags on something original that I’ve done.  Getting comment fic or really just anyone responding to something that I’ve created or written about or written tags about makes me happy.  I think it makes everyone happy, which is why whenever I reblog things, I make sure that I don’t just tag ‘fic rec’, I actually make sure that I expand on it.  Especially, because I know that people spend a LOT of time making these things for tumblr, and I want them to know that it’s appreciated.  ESPECIALLY when it’s something that makes me think.  That’s the best.

3 days ago   REBLOG      0 notes
thealaktarr inquired:

oh OH what is your favorite thing about canadian winter. do you really drink maple syrup. DOES YOUR MONEY REALLY SMELL LIKE MAPLE (I have a five dollar canadian bill and it does NOT)

About Canadian winter? I think it’s the way that everyone just kind of acknowledges that we’re all in this together, and so we make the best of it.  Like, the second there’s a nicer winter day (so, anywhere up to about -15C), everyone is out skating on the river trail or cross-country skiing or something, because we just have to get through it.

I HAVE taken shots of maple syrup, and even sipped it from a shot glass, but it’s much better over pancakes and waffles.  Or as candy.  Or, poured boiling hot onto the snow, and then wrapped around a popsicle stick and licked.

Only the $100 bills smell like maple, and though the Mint denies it, it is fact.

3 days ago   REBLOG      2 notes

When have you seen me dance?

Never, I’m just making an assumption. Plus, it’s the gif that appears when I hover over your avatar. :)

3 days ago   REBLOG      1 notes
Anonymous inquired:

on a scale of Eeyore to Giselle from Enchanted, how happy are you you're on tumblr?

Very happy, anon, very happy.  I came for the fic, but stayed for the friends.  (and, because it’s the BEST thing to waste time on. EXCELLENT.)

3 days ago   REBLOG      2 notes